


Scorn and Honor

by LucifersSpawn



Series: After The Fall [1]
Category: Dragon Quest Series, Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Alternate Canon, Because Jasper deserves it, Coma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, I just want to see them happy, Jasper is gay and no one who played the game can deny it, Jasper lives, Knights - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Most characters are only mentioned, Mutual Pining, Rebuild of Heliodor, Recovery, Romance, Slow Burn, Tags Are Hard, Victim Jasper, Yggdrasil - Freeform, aftermath of canon, bi Hendrik I think, no post-game, no time travel, past demon, so yeah sorry Veronika stays dead, spoilers for the game, wholesome content I hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 06:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucifersSpawn/pseuds/LucifersSpawn
Summary: Over-taking the narrative at the Fortress of Fear were the companions first fought Jasper and afterwards the Dark One, the group decides to give Jasper a second chance and takes him to the City of Heliodor, which is slowly being rebuild by the returned citizens under King Carnelian.Accompany Jasper when everything he did crushes him and Hendrik as he slowly comes to terms with his feelings, and experience how they finally get together now that the world is saved :)
Relationships: Graig | Hendrik/Homer | Jasper (Dragon Quest XI)
Series: After The Fall [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679194
Comments: 35
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first chap but do not judge yet pls read on.

Damn this really isn’t what he wanted.  
Or what he ever would have imagined.  
The whole fight had hurt him. Fighting against his comrade, his former brother in arms, his friend Jasper…. It hurt him. But it was over now. At last. He overpowered him once more and once more Jasper lies in the mud before him. This time though with purplish fog of darkness swirling around him and bit by bit leaving his body just like it happened with King Carnelian and Erik’s sister Mia.  
Nothing was left of his demonic appearance, the unnatural whiteness of his skin faded to his usual paleness. It was just Jasper.  
Well, bloodied Jasper with a great wound from the Luminaries Sword of Light in his abdomen and a fine cut from Hendriks double handed one on his still face, across his left cheek. But leave it to Jasper to look fine and all despite being unconscious and having a trail of blood making its way down to his chin. That elegant bastard. No time to worry about him though. There was the Lord of Shadows awaiting them…

And we all know how that ended.  
But while running from the collapsing dark fortress Erik stumbled over Jaspers still form. Ah yes, only because they forget about him to concentrate on saving the world didn’t mean he would just vanish into thin air. “Dammit”, cursed the thief, standing up with Serena’s help.  
They all stopped running and took a moment to look at the fallen knight. It was an uncomfortable, silent moment in which time seemed to stop although everything crumbled around them. A moment where Hendrik wanted to say something, wanted to run to his friends side, wanted to scream. But his whole body succumbed to an overwhelming numbness; he was not able to choke out words, every syllable dying on his tongue.  
“We can’t just leave him here.” It was Jade. Jade finally said it for she hadn’t forgotten the knight that swore to protect her when she was still a little girl.  
Yes, he did succumb to the darkness, but her father did too. And she did not only know his sharp voice spitting curses or the spells he casted on them not long ago. She remembered his ambition, his reserved kindness, his intelligence, his smirk…  
Her words finally ripped Hendrik out of his dazed state of mind and in three fast long steps he was by Jaspers side, picking him up in strong arms bridal style like he weighted nothing. He was still completely out of it, left arm dangling from his side and for a moment Hendrik feared the man had bled out while they were facing Mordegan, but a slight heave of his chest with every flat breath was barely visible. So he was alive. For now.  
There was no time for any complaints if there were any. A terribly decorated pillar fell down right beside Serena and reminded them all of the severe danger they were in.  
So they picked up running once again, escaping that sinister rotting place, an inevitable death and the stink of decay. 

This was how they saved the world. 

And hopefully this marked the start of saving Jasper too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will get much better I promise.   
> Unofficial names for this chapter "Demonic damsel in distress" and "Saving the world I guess".


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They just saved the world and Jaspers life. Short talk before we finally arrive at Heliodor.

The healing spells were done. 

The wonder about the reappearing of Yggdrasil and everything they did the past hours, days, weeks and even months still lingered but not as overwhelming as before. 

Some have already succumbed to their utter exhaustion, sleeping on the big back of Cetacea. She was gently flying through the sky, on the way to bring all of them to their homes and loved ones.

Hendrik was still awake. Sitting calmly a bit away from the sleeping comrades, still able to hear Rab’s snoring. Jade and Erik were beside him, but the conversation had died down a while ago when Eleven and Sylvando went to sleep. 

Hendriks gaze wandered from time to time. Away from the beautiful landscapes under them that were reserved only to the Luminary and his companions and all the flying creatures, to the blooming form of Yggdrasil, finally restored and maybe even more beautiful than before. Or maybe they cherished the sight of the world tree now even more. And lastly his gaze landed on the unconscious Heliodoran knight. He himself had treated him with a healing spell, frowning at the obvious sight of fresh scars that would remain. But his life was not in danger anymore. Still, he didn’t even stir once, his body slack, his eyes closed. It made Hendrik nervous. He didn’t like it. 

Erik looked up from the knife in his lap, following Hendriks concerned gaze and sighed, before he interrupted the knight’s thoughts and broke the silence saying,   
“I don’t know how to feel about this… him. Whatever. Just, you know, being there next to Eleven and so on…”  
Again, Hendrik would have liked to do something smart and again Jade did that before he could, turning to the blue haired and giving him one of her rather cold looks combined with a less icy more soft voice “When my father deserves a second chance, not to forget your sister, then he does too.”

Erik thought for a moment, probably weighing those cruel memories of him getting captured by Jasper in Gondolia against the paralleling story of Mia and how glad he was that she was saved, happily giving her all new chances he possibly could without thinking twice about it, before furrowing his brows and giving a shrug,   
“Well, yeah, I guess. But what if it wasn’t just some kinda darkness consuming him and taking control but rather just… him. I mean it certainly sounded like there isn’t much love left between you and him, Hendrik.”  
OK, that stung somehow. 

Jade huffed lightly amused, “If we have to then we throw him in the Heliodoran prison you are so familiar with.”  
“Better not in my old cell though, there is still that small architectonic addition I made to that lovely place. Put a lot of effort in it. Worth it I would say.” Erik smirked, relaxing again, comfortably resting his head on his arms and looking at the sleeping form of Eleven a bit more, then turning back to the great silhouette of Yggdrasil before the starry night sky. 

Again silence fell over them, with Jade dozing off a few times. This time though Hendrik finally found the courage to say the words that circled through his mind for a while,  
“He is not evil or anything. Never was. His words… how he described that I ignored him… I never did anything like that on purpose. But looking back I do realize actually mistreating him. A friendship is a precious bond, as you all have noticed being in this comradeship. But it demands care no matter how old it is. One cannot expect to neglect it for long and still find it unchanged. Like I did. Additional, if I’m permitted to say so, King Carnelian of Heliodor himself did not do him and his service to the crown justice. He was a well-respected tactician but still most tasks were entrusted to me while I was at the court; like he was positioned behind me instead of next to me. I just hope the King offers him another chance so he can make up for this tragic betrayal. And that he takes that chance. So everything can finally be like it should have always been and we can build up the kingdom and city of Heliodor to its old splendour.” 

He sighed and added with a softened voice, “For a start I shall just hope he wakes up again.”

Erik gave him a comforting smile: “Well I sure wish ya luck with all that and don’t worry, he probably just needs some rest like my foolish sis did. Gotta cost something; doing the reversed butterfly move and metamorph straight into a fugly ass demon.”  
Hendrik would never admit that this demon was in no way fugly and didn’t allow himself thinking any further about that so he just nodded. Cursed be his weird thoughts.

Hendrik was a simple man.   
He made simple choices and plans.   
Had simple dreams. 

Would the Luminary need him, then he would stand by his side and be his shield.   
But if the Luminary would decide his service no longer needed then the knight wished to help with the rebuild of Heliodor. And the rebuild of trust towards Jasper. With those aspects in mind he laid back, finally allowing his body and mind to rest and his eyes to shut close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did this feel like a boring filler chapter?   
> It kinda was.   
> The unofficial chapter name was "pep talk time".   
> More Jasper in the next chapter, pinky-promise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are at Heliodor and finally get some Hendrik/Jasper. Yay.   
> Well this is like the actual beginning of the fic.

Time has passed. 

Or, to be more precise, weeks have been filled with the reorganization of Heliodor. Mankind, order, beauty and laughter were restored to plenty the halls once again. 

The damage was not erased, nor the losses forgotten but once more proud guards were peeping at chatty maidens, chancellors argued about the tiniest detail of every state affair, a certain princess returned with a Luminary at her side, both sparking joy and hope in the civilians and none of them were afraid to dirty their hands, diplomats from the kingdoms of Sniflheim and Gallopolis visited to establish a network for economy, security and the ensuring of shared interests throughout Erdrea, the first merchants from other cities returning too, bringing Gondolian pastries, forged goods from Hotto and some even having a few expensive pearls from Lonalullu in their stock.

So is it all well yet? No, but it’s on its way there.

Hendrik worked hard as he always did but every evening without exception he sat at Jaspers side in his room at the west corridor.  
The blond laid still on his bed, his eyes closed like always, fair hair framing the pale face where one single line of a scar on his left cheek disturbs the symmetry of features. A reminder of the fight they had at the Fortress of Fear.   
His lips were parted slightly, his appearance much more relaxed than it used to be when he was first put here. At least Hendrik hoped that was the case and not just a lie he told himself. But yes, his former friend looked way more peaceful now. Younger. Like a huge burden was taken from him.   
At first his brows had been furrowed, his posture had been tense, even cramped up in a sense, once in a while a whimper has left him even though the doctors had assured them he was fine and a priest has confirmed that nothing demonic of a sort was left in him, no sign of a curse or anything like that either. But after some days whatever had pained him seemed to ebb up and for a week now he was completely silent, his calm breath not loud enough to reach ones ears but the slight rise of his chest a constant reassurance. 

So like every day Hendrik sat in the chair he had moved from Jaspers desk to stand beside the bed and just filled the silence with the events of the day and other thoughts that had crossed his mind he would not share with others.   
At first it had been weird. But he did want to believe a part of Jasper could actually feel his presence and might be comforted by listening to a well-known and not hostile anymore voice. He did not want the blond to ever feel alone again. Nobody should. Especially not people he cared for. And now he did not only do it for the sake of Jasper but also had to admit growing fond of this little evening ritual and how calming it was to speak out loud the things he had on his mind instead of letting them make up stupid worst things scenarios there like he always has done. He never was one to talk a lot. He never seemed to find the right words. But this was more important. He had to try.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“-so they went to go back to Cobblestone. Or The Last Bastion. We really did make a military fortress out of that destroyed village... Well so what? Just makes for some interesting architecture and way more fame and tourists I should guess. The people did good work there. Anyway I think Jade and the Luminary will be there by now. On second thought, probably not. Considering how that boy always seems to explore every last stone and patch of dirt for I-don’t-even-know and then somehow even manages to find useful stuff there. Sure put me on edge with all his running around once in a while. Not that I complained. But paths really seem to be a concept out of his comfort zone. Anyway the King seems to be a tad disappointed that his daughter left so soon. Asked me to accompany them and I sure was ready to, considering I am not only a sworn Knight of Heliodor but also Shield of the Luminary but the latter asked me to stay here explicitly. Even sounded a bit more like an authority. Well I can understand that. He never asked for some time apart which would have sounded ridiculous anyway before Yggdrasil was restored but now it seems to be appropriate. And the Princess can defend herself just fine. So the two of them will manage I trust-“

There it was again.   
That voice that pulled at him again and again.   
At first it was like something far away, but always coming back.   
It had familiarity in it. And it got clearer: starting of like a constant kind of deep hum but after a while came the realization there was more to it.   
Sounds that formed syllables, making words, shifting together to sentences. Sentences he desperately wanted to hear the meaning of, not quite understanding why. It wasn’t like he disliked the state he was in. It was like a floating whiteness without anything; a constant numbness. Far away from those haunting feelings of the past he could barely name in this state. But he knew there has been anger, a deep passion for vengeance like an ever-burning fire to fuel his every action. There had been a second force to drive him; something dark that took over and casted long shadows over everything else. 

But all that was long past.   
Now he was unable to grasp that memory and trying was so deeply exhausting.   
He just wanted rest. 

And that he finally had.   
If it had not been for that voice that stirred something in him. It made him want to fight the fog in his mind; he wanted more and more to push through that deep sea of peaceful seclusion unto the surface where all of reality was. All of that negativity he had wanted to escape from but also all of… everything else. He didn’t quite know. The voice, yes, but there was more of it. But he couldn’t name that so far.  
So it would be best to concentrate on the obvious for now: the voice that could work like the hook of a fishing-rod; maybe.   
And so he did.

When he could make out the words other things came back with it too: memories, names, events, places, pictures.   
A whole life.   
His own.   
And damn, did anyone ask for some misery?   
Fuck.   
What a fool he had been.   
A pawn to Mordegan in the end.   
Ah and there the feelings came.   
Guilt and remorse seemed to overtake him and tried to drown out that voice again. 

But no going back now. He reached the surface with his mind, now it was time for his body to follow. He couldn’t stay where he was and just listen on and on forever while negativity threatened to overcome him again.

At first there was a twitch of pale fingertips, followed by a flatter of eyelids.   
Light-golden eyes caught sight of the world once more and took in the very familiar room with its dark tapestry, all the bookshelves that still couldn’t contain all the books and lastly his gaze settled on the figure sitting next to him. 

Hendrik. 

Hendrik who was talking on, his posture unusually relaxed with legs straightened out, one hand rested casually in his lap, the other one held his Token of Fealty, fiddling the pendant around, his eyes focused on the way it reflected the light of the candles that created a comfy atmosphere.   
“-and that patrol was an excellent chance to take Obsidian for a ride. She was really excited. I think by now she forgave me for leaving her for so long. At least she let me-“  
“How about you shut up for once,” interrupted Jasper, having found his voice again, although it was raspy and hoarse and quieter than usual and his throat kind of hurt. 

But it worked well enough to shock the man in the chair nearly out of said furniture, while staring at the blond with a silly surprised expression others would pay for, his whole posture tensed up, choking out, “Ja-Jasper?! You´re awake…” 

With some effort and a few accompanying gasps he couldn’t hold back Jasper sat up in his bed, fighting a wave of nausea, his brows furrowed in the process and he blinked his way to an unmoving picture of the room again.   
It took longer than he anticipated, by then Hendrik had already wrapped his mind about the awaited awakening and pushed a glass of water into a smaller hand, watching the long-haired man gulp it down surprisingly inelegant.  
He would possibly never be able to describe the relief that washed over him, remembering the typical sharp comment he had just been greeted with, finally able to look at those beautiful eyes with their golden shine, to watch those long pale fingers (that were strong nonetheless) move again… he didn’t know why he acknowledged all those details or why he found them so enticing but it didn’t matter at the moment.   
All that mattered was the return of consciousness. 

Now they could talk.   
Now they could start anew, now he could make up for what he did and Jasper could make up for his own mistakes and they could be the fierce eagles of Heliodor once again.   
He hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are.  
> Unofficial chapter names were "Wakey wakey nutbag" (a reference to the series Disentchantment) and "waking up is hard" because I also like to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awake, arise or be for ever fallen (Milton, Paradise Lost).  
> Jasper is awake. But will the King allow him to rise?

Hendrik had never before in his life talked that much. After spilling his heart to the unconscious Jasper every evening because he didn’t know how else he could be of help he took his time explaining to the conscious Jasper what had happened the past months, while the blond got some food in his body, took some steps again, looked out of the window, looked back at Hendrik, never interrupting the larger man, just silently listening.   
At least so far he had not made any hostile movement or shown signs of still sympathizing with anything dark or evil. 

Small victories, yay. 

“-so all most people know is that you disappeared, I brought you back, you are resting and it’s not their place to ask questions. They don’t suspect anything either, not being informed of your condition or likewise. So far a lot of people told me to deliver their get well wishes to you. Like the blacksmith and of course the soldiers who were serving under you, some staff and citizens and of course Princess Jade, who has been visiting you a few times before leaving Heliodor for the time being. Considering the late hour I would say the King will speak with you first thing in the morning.”  
With that Hendrik fell quiet again, having said everything he deemed necessary (and a tad more). 

He expected Jasper to talk now, maybe to apologize for what happened or to give reason or even to throw accusations at him or at least to send him away from his quarters.   
Anything but this uncomfortable silence he got instead.   
Jasper was still standing at the window, moonlight shining on him like it happened in cheesy romantic tales poets and bards tell. And it was just as beautiful as those tales described. Which was an equally cheesy thought. Another one for the place in his mind Hendrik discarded a lot of similar thoughts lately.   
Great.   
So Jasper was standing there, dressed in the simple trouser and white tunic combination he spend his coma-like state in, that wasn’t really his style but the most comfortable, his feet bare, his fair hair put back in the typical ponytail just a few minutes ago when he found a suitable band on the desk, a dark blue jacket with silver embroidery draped over his shoulders and he was looking at the starry night sky, deep in thoughts, his gaze seemingly clouded with something like regret, his face twisted in a pain that was not physical, his hands clenching to fist and slowly unclenching again after a moment. 

It hurt Hendrik to see him like that. Before he could encourage the blond to speak, however, the latter seized that opportunity himself, voice shaken from emotions so unlike his usual self:   
“I… it was what Mordegan did, I suppose. Finding the abandoned, the lonely but possibly still so ambitious souls; the desperate ones that see no other way anymore. Making them feel cherished while approaching them, promising them all they desired and giving them the means to realize it. While making sure they would secure his power not only because of the debt they feel towards him, perhaps even loyalty of some kind, but also because the same kind of darkness already spread in their bodies, controlling them in a way, making sure of pushing back second thoughts…  
This is in no way an excuse for what I did. And neither action nor apology of mine could ever undo what I did. Being a traitor to the kingdom I swore to protect. I disgust myself, Hendrik. And still I do not rot in the dungeons nor was I killed in battle. Maybe the King will reach verdict tomorrow and I shall accept whatever the outcome might be.”  
Hendrik was a little taken aback but sighed; “He is a wise man. Maybe you should rest now, it’s really late. Whatever he decides, I will see you tomorrow, yes?” He stood up while talking, reaching the door with a few long steps before looking back at the blond, one hand resting on the door handle.  
Jasper turned around too, meeting his gaze and for a few moments it seemed like he wanted to say something, but in the end he just nodded and with a soft “Good night”, Hendrik left the room.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jasper was awake long before the knock on the door startled him. In fact he had slept long enough the past weeks and now his thoughts had kept him awake.   
The Luminary forgave that little girl Mia or whatever her name was, Sniflheim had forgiven Krystalinda, nobody hold grudges towards King Carnelian for chasing the Darkspawn, Hendrik seemed to be ready to forgive him even if he was not sure why but did not dare ask it last night. But his crimes have been greater. 

He had taken out one of his books from the shelves, but couldn’t concentrate on any reading.   
Before dawn he washed himself, brushed his hair, put on his single earring with the ruby framed in gold and dressed in clothes appropriate to greet a king in. Well there was no sign of his necklace that marked him a Heliodoran knight or of his armor or even his sword but he probably lost his position and rank anyway. He took his time for all that. Call him conceited but he gave a shit about the way he looked. If you have waist-long hair you either care for it to look awesome or you don’t and suddenly an uncivilized barbarian greets you in the mirror. 

When the long awaited knock on the door finally came he stroked his hair out of his face unconsciously like he always did and answered right away, “Come in.” His voice was strong and cold again; he had repositioned himself at the window but facing the door right away.   
A guard opened the door and King Carnelian came into the room, the door closing behind him. Well he certainly seemed to trust Jasper would not attack him. Bold way to face a lethal traitor. Maybe foolish even.   
King Carnelian of Heliodor had his usual grim expression, wore his usual colourful garments, the crown a heavy burden on his head. Jasper bowed like he should, mumbled something along the line of “My King.”  
The King gave him an appraising look, his voice harsh, spitting out the words: “Jasper, Supreme Commander of the Spectral Sentinels.”   
“No more, my Lord,” Answered Jasper with furrowed brows   
“One could say I came back to my senses and now I am awaiting my punishment, being fully aware of my own guilt and the crimes I committed.” He bowed his head slightly again, gaze fixed on the floor.

“A lot of things have gone wrong and your path turned in the worst possible direction. Directly attacking the Luminary more than once, sending evil forces to kill him, and assisting the Lord of Shadows personally, betraying not only your people, oath, King and kingdom but also all of humanity and Erdrea.   
And yet my dear daughter, blessed be her pure heart, chooses to save you and Hendrik in all his nobleness and unquestionable devotion to our course wishes to give you another chance. I thought about it for a long time for I would have never agreed on such actions. But I trust the both of them with all my heart. So I decided to give you that second chance, even if it is more for their sakes than for my will or yours, which I did not even ask, because I do not have any reason to grant your wishes. You will continue being a Heliodoran knight like nothing ever happened because the people do not know of your deceit and there is no reason to shock them with the truth if you do not give any. Your men will be under your command once again, you will work for Heliodor again but there will be people watching your every move and if you show any sign, even if it is just a tiny step out of the expected way, I will know and I will let you hang, for I do not trust you that easily once again.   
I even feel like I always knew deep inside that you would be the one to be easily corrupted. Well, your work will be assigned to your desk again and I expect excellent results.”  
It hit him stronger than the Luminaries attacks back in the Fortress of Fear.   
He was not forgiven and would never be but he could start over anyway? 

No consequences, no punishment other than the utter disrespect the King he swore to treated him with, which surely hurt and would continue to but was such a small price to pay. Still unable to wrap his mind about what just happened he managed a deep bow accompanied by a “Thank you, my Lord.” He was unsure if he really meant it but etiquette doesn’t ask for the truth.   
The king left his quarters right away, leaving Jasper with swirling thoughts. 

Working for someone that distrusted him, someone he always wished to be cherished by seemed like a nightmare. Actually not being punished and just having to continue living with everything he had done sounded more terrible than simply rotting in those underground prison cells he used to throw people in. Facing the civilians who trusted him and were ready to serve under him not knowing he had doomed them and was partly responsible for every tragedy that had befallen them and certainly took many lives, that sounded just like betrayal and fraud all over. Damn.  
Could he really just make up for his mistakes working like he used to? 

It took him hours of thinking to partly accept that maybe it wasn’t all bad. Maybe Heliodor did need him or at least he could help the Kingdom he still loved. And Hendrik had wished for him to do so. Which lit sparks in his chest, leaving him feeling weird but hopeful again. And the Princess was ok with him. And she was the future. So maybe it was time to face ahead. He could not forget what happened but his actions needed to be that of a fierce knight once more. For the sake of princess Jade who saved him for reasons beyond his understanding which he was partly grateful for and partly just downright regretted it.   
And for Hendrik who seemed to see him. Finally. And not even in a bad light. That was the best thing that could have happened to him and his final motivation. He would not disappoint that man again. This purple-haired, broad shouldered, not eloquent man with all his morale codes and simple choices dominated his thoughts more and more. 

Lamenting in misery would not be useful, even though he couldn’t help it ever now and then.   
But it was time to face the city again. He had men under his command, responsibility, and a good commander shows his face to his soldiers. So he grabbed one of his elegant capes, straightened his posture, the usual estimating and distanced expression on his face, and opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The unofficial chapter title for this chap was "The king can go fuck himself".   
> Reasons are obvious I guess.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper leaves his room.

The people of Heliodor seemed relieved to see their other famous knight again, seemingly in perfect health, greeting them in the usual reserved ways. Jasper made his rounds through the castle, then to the central and wealthy ring of the city, talking to his subordinates, assuring them that he was fine if they dared to ask, questioning them about the state of the city, exchanging a few words with the wealthy and royal civilians although he never liked to, talking about future projects with chancellors, overlooking the repairs, the stocks of resources, which would certainly be in numbers on lots of papers resting on his desk later this day. 

He was in the outer ring of the city, overlooking the marketplace that was slowly being re-established, talking to his second-in-command, being really relieved the man was still alive, although he lost a kid and one brother caused by the fall of Yggdrasil. He was an older soldier, through most of his wrinkles were caused by the wearing and sad last months, but he had not lost his wit and everything he said was backed up by experience and knowledge of what makes people tick and that is what Jasper cherished and why he had decided to put him in this position.   
The blond held a few of the first berries gathered after the vegetation had started to, well, not-die, again. The man who sold them had actually given them to him for free and, not wanting to discuss, Jasper had accepted and just put some coins on the table next to the box with the rest of the fruits. It was good, eating fresh food. He looked up when he saw the patrol that watched for monsters outside the city return, led by Hendrik himself, sat upon mighty Obsidian.   
Looking heroic like always with those ridiculous muscles and that perfect riding posture and this kind and soft smile like he had not seen how cruel this world was, thought Jasper while watching the people cheerfully greeting Hendrik and the soldiers, glad that they seemed to be uninjured, taking it as a good sign for their safety.

Hendrik felt warmth pool in his chest while riding through the streets of Heliodor because the people greeted him and his men so friendly, so hopeful, with laughter and blessings. But a whole different kind of feeling hit him when he gazed through the people and suddenly locked eyes with none other than Jasper. Before dawn he had pledged the king to return Jasper to his old position, letting him make up for his mistakes by being one of the best knights on Erdrea for Heliodor once more. And the King has listened but not said a word about his plans, dismissing Hendrik to go down into Jaspers quarters and let the man know first about the decision concerning him. So Hendrik had to leave the castle for the patrol not knowing if his friend would be in a prison cell or an outcast or a knight when he would come back. But it seems the latter was the case.  
Jasper was dressed in a fine suit and cape, the sun shining on his hair almost letting it glow while it moved gently in the breeze, the pride returned in that half-smirk he gave Hendrik, eyes narrowing daringly. Hendrik nudged Obsidian over to him before he made it a conscious decision, letting the soldiers return to the stallions without him, dismounting right before the blond knight   
“Jasper. It is a pleasure to see you.”  
Wasn’t one of Jaspers men here a few moments before? He was not sure.

Jasper smiled, he just dismissed his subordinate when he noticed Hendrik was indeed riding up to him and bowed his head for a short greeting, “So the city borders are safe, I guess? Seeing how you returned unscathed, with polished armament lacking scrapes and marks and that foolish smile of yours.”  
“They are. We cannot have it any other way. I assume King Carnelian offered you your old position and you accepted? Allow me to say that I am truly glad.”  
Jasper huffed, the hand that was not holding a few berries rising to wave back a strand of hair, “Something like that, you could say. I’d rather give you the details in an area with less noise and more privacy for it is not all that joyful. Perhaps you can meet me in my quarters in those evening hours you’re already used to spend there watching me sleep like a creep.” 

Hendrik felt heat rise to his cheeks, clenching Obsidians reigns a bit harder, deciding not to comment on the teasing before he would stutter at the blond like a teen. Instead he nodded,   
“Of course. Yes I should probably tend to taking Obsidian back to her stable now and you probably have a lot of tasks to take care of. I will see you in the evening, then.” He nodded as goodbye and led his mare further in the city, fortunately not looking back, because Jasper had his eyes on him for the whole time.   
He couldn’t believe it still only took a few words to make that grown man blush. Well he also couldn’t believe how that made him feel; he did always enjoy teasing the man because it was easy and the reactions always amusing, like Hendrik always kept something foolish and innocent and such an extraordinary pureness and then a few comments could totally throw him off. He might be of great height, with extraordinary strength, able to break ones neck with his bare hands, his style of command was always harsh and he often had a rough attitude, but Jasper knew under all that was a soft core. Reaching that softer nature with some words and getting such a reaction out of the usually stoic man, it made Jasper feel special. The foolish smile he had mocked the purple-haired guy for, now threatened to show on his own lips, his gaze losing some of the coldness.   
So this evening, then.   
Very well. 

He walked back up to the castle, knowing there would be tons of work waiting for him and a king threatening to further ruin his life if he would not exceed his expectations. But his spirits were lifted, partly by the progress of restoring Heliodor, partly by some of the people although he didn’t really miss any gatherings or publicity, but mostly by that short chat with Hendrik and the certainty to talk with him some more in a more comfortable atmosphere later. 

For a moment he almost forgot what he had done in the past dark months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided Obsidian is a mare.   
> Unofficial chap titles: "Making his way downtown" and "uneducated peasants".


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper will finally be a Heliodoran Knight again.

Jasper had ordered all those papers, dived right into the work, figuring out what supplies they would need and how to get them, worked on a security strategy to further secure the walls of the city that still wouldn’t cost them all those materials they so desperately needed to restore the town-buildings. He shifted schedules for patrols at outposts and gates, estimating how many men would be needed according to a bunch of reports he had worked through, also overlooking financials for the military forces of the kingdom, cutting budgets and saving costs. It was not really his job to do administrative procedures but he looked at everything as an overall concept, connecting lines and reaching conclusions. This was what marked him as a strategist. Planning and scheming with a head full of facts and old knowledge, making up ways to solve whatever problem currently came up and with the aspect of a still damaged city in a world full of monsters, there were many.   
Sometimes he called for subordinates to give them different orders or to further question them about things left unclear in the reports, actually scolding one or two for their absolute incapacity, sometimes he let a low ranked newbie run some errands, sending him off with a few documents or to get other books and records. 

His first day back in the job and he already made some rookies question all their life choices, threatened to suspend at least one guard and shifted half the time tables that were set up for the soldiers. Just like in old times.

When the knock at the door came he nearly didn’t realise it, deeply lost in thoughts. After a short pause of hesitation another harsher knock followed.  
“Come in”, answered Jasper this time, not even bothering to look up, expecting Hendrik to just step in.   
His disappointment even made it to his face, which rarely happens, when he already realised by the sound of the steps that the person coming in was, in fact, not Hendrik.  
“Sir, allowance to speak, Sir”, asked a subordinate timidly because Jasper still refused to look up from his books.  
“Granted.” murmured the knight already annoyed. Wow it really bothered him that Hendrik was not here. Hasn’t the sun already set?  
“The king sent me to bring you your armour. The blacksmith made a new one using your old measurements, after hearing there was no old one to be repaired. Also your sword was retrieved.”

Well that caught Jaspers attention. He watched as servants brought in the new knight’s armour, which was very much styled like the old one, but the metal shines in a way it only does before it gets dulled by perpetual use, there was not a single scratch on the polished plates, the golden eagle emblem reflecting in Jaspers eyes when he stood up to gently touch it.   
His sword was placed next to it and he took it in his hand and swung it easily in an elegant style without even thinking about it. It just felt so good. 

\----------------------------------------------  
Hendrik hastily finished the last papers before he awkwardly stood in front of the mirror in his room. He straightened his posture, still wearing his black armour, stroked back his hair, eyed himself in the reflecting piece of furniture before he asked himself what exactly it was he was doing right now. He was on his way to Jasper, the man he grew up with, the man he had fought countless battles beside, not going on a date with a fine lady or following an invention to a high class social gathering. Still, he hesitated.   
It felt right to check on his appearance, he guessed.   
Jasper was always one to care for looks, checking himself on reflecting surfaces when he thought no one was looking and constantly making that petty hand gesture to stroke back the strands of hair that kept falling back in his face. Which was adorable. Wait. Did he just think that? Well it was, kind of, actually cute, he guessed… and also elegant and special and so typical… jasper-like. Wow, that man really did dominate his thoughts. He thought it was just worry for a comatose friend but now Jasper was sound and safe and he still couldn’t help it.   
Anyway that man had spoken of not everything being as joyful as it seemed so maybe this hinted trouble was the reason for the feeling deep in Hendriks gut and why his thoughts wandered back to Jasper the whole day, even whispering about him to Obsidian, getting a weird look once by a stable boy. 

“Come in.” was the simple answer to his sharp knocking and Hendrik stepped into the familiar room. Jasper was standing at the window, which seemed to be his favourite place, his sword in hand, his silver armour placed near, with his sword in his hand, looking it up and down. He wore this thinking-expression, with lightly furrowed eyebrows and narrowed eyes. Hendrik had once overheard two maidservants chattering about Jaspers handsome face and he would secretly agree, the fine line of a scar not making the slightest difference. “He got those pretty-boy looks” he remembered one of the girls say. And she was probably right, for Jasper had that toned, nearly lean body that made people doubt his strength at first. This was always a mistake. Being smart wouldn’t have been enough to become a Heliodoran knight, after all. No, Jasper was a fine swordsman, his one-handed Platinum sword with the red and gold handle lying in his hand just right and perfectly balanced.   
Hendrik was glad the weapon and armour were finally returned to the knight, a slight smile making his lips twitch before he said “I hope you didn’t wait too long”, while closing the door behind him.  
Jasper looked up, golden eyes meeting blue-coloured ones, his head tilting side wards slightly “What if I did?”  
Hendrik was irritated for a short moment, not knowing how to respond. That blond always managed to throw him off-guard. “Well then… I apologize. Well now that the King granted you with what marks you as a knight it is probably time to give you something I took to keep it safe while you couldn’t have it.”  
Jasper raised one eyebrow “You stored the trust the King had in me?”  
“I- What?”  
“That was a joke, Hendrik. Not a good one though, more like a comment flavoured with dry humour. Now go on, give me back what is mine. I waited enough today.”  
Hendrik shook his head slightly, before he turned his attention to the hilt of his great sword resting in the sheath on his back, unsheathing it in swift motion like the weight of it was not immense, fumbling with something attached to the hilt.  
Jasper folded his arms in front of his chest “You should be careful with that monstrous thing. I like my furniture intact. This is not the place for a duel and if you want to gift me your inelegant choice of a weapon, do not bother, I politely decline.”  
Hendrik loosened the Knights Emblem from the swords hilt, holding the necklace out to Jasper “It is your Token of Fealty. I thought the King will want to give it back to you but he just said I can keep it. But I have my own; this is not mine to keep. Armour, sword and Token. Now you are a full knight of Heliodor again, like you should be.”  
Jasper looked at the charm, golden double-headed eagle shining while dangling in the air, then he snatched it out of Hendriks hand more aggressively than he intended to.  
“If you think everything is as it was then you are wrong, dear Hendrik. For the King does in no way forgive me or would ever trust me in any way again. I can hardly blame him considering my treachery but now I am working as a knight under the constant threat of punishment for the slightest sign of mistake, people are tasked with watching my every step. I have no intend of betraying this kingdom or the people I once swore to protect ever again but I do not know if this state of secret surveillance and threat in mind while the people are oblivious to my doings, won’t burn me out. In some moments I wish to be thrown in the dungeon or hang up on the marketplace. Or to just be honest to the towns folk and let them decide if they still want to have me or not. You know I don’t usually support the peasants to have any sayings for they are uneducated and therefore not able to make acceptable decisions but just this once I would actually prefer it this way. The people like me for someone I am not, the King hates me and I don’t know which subordinates he told to watch me and which not. It’s… suffocating… even on the first day.”  
Hendrik reached out and took hold of Jaspers hands, which the blond had thrown into the air in a dramatic gesture to underline his despair. He grasped them in his larger, warmer ones before he even knew what he was doing.   
Again their eyes met; surprised golden ones that suddenly lost all the usual distance and coldness gazed into a pair the colour of the sea at Puerto Valor which held so much warmth and trust in them.   
For a moment silence filled the room, hands still touching, eyes locked. There seemed to be so much tension Jasper was nearly afraid to breath, awaiting what would happen next.  
His anger and frustration had suddenly left him as well as anything else besides Hendrik. Hendrik with his caring attitude, his seemingly stone-carved features, his- 

Hendrik hastily pulled away, actually taking a little step backwards, cheeks and even his ears flushed red, stammering something that didn’t reach Jasper before he regained his composure, straightening his posture, eyes avoiding Jasper when he finally said,  
“We all did wrong to the Luminary and his cause. We cannot atone for what we have done. Only repay our debt at least in part by serving the right cause now. You hardly do any actual mistakes in your usual work so I am sure you will win back the Kings trust in no time and the trust of the people of Heliodor would not falter. Even the people of Cobblestone do not hold grudges anymore against you although you ordered to have them killed. The common folk are so desperate for strong leaders and people they can declare heroes. They just know all the battles you won for them; they see all the work you do for their sake. I ask only of you to continue. And the chancellors were never people to trust. Half of them are probably corrupt, that’s why I always preferred the soldiers and why I am thankful the King keeps us knights nearer to his throne than them. But don’t doubt yourself that much. I always trust you. I have your back, Jasper. Clear your mind of all this troubling thoughts and look ahead. Heliodor needs its knights. This court needs your smart ideas and strong leadership. I need my childhood friend. And you can always count on me. I will never again leave you behind.”  
What started with an unsteady voice had ended in a whisper.

But it was probably the most important whisper Jasper had ever heard.   
It made him tremble, it made him forget the awkward silent moment they had before and it calmed the storm that his mind. 

Hendrik was his tower of strength, a bastion of calm and the only reason why Jasper would be able to focus on his work again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unofficial chapter names "obviously pining" and "Knights in shining armour".  
> I mean it was Kind of a date, right?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper meets a stranger and it's a game changer. (Get it? GAME changer, just like this fic. Ok sorry. Here you go)

It didn’t even take that long for an everyday life to establish itself. Jasper did the work of a knight in a kingdom that was being rebuild, under the mistrusting eyes of a king and the townspeople that were way too easy to please, held endless debates with fat chancellors, insulted them in too subtle ways to notice but obviously enough to get warning gazes from Hendrik or a slight kick with his boot under the desk and spent his free time with his nose buried in books again. And every evening Hendrik came by for some time. They could talk about nearly everything, from Jasper slandering … well almost everyone, up to the guilt they felt about their parts in Yggdrasils fall.   
Sometimes Hendrik would tell him about his travels with the Luminary and their companions, talking way more than he did all day, Jasper once commenting that this blue-haired thief (“His name is Erik, Jasper, and I totally know you are aware of it and just choose to act like you don’t to disrespect him”) still stole the red orb and well nobody really seemed to care about this crime anymore like being best friends with the saviour of the world erased all the crimes(?!). But it was probably more like since Yggdrasil’s restoration nobody cared for anyone’s crimes anymore.   
Sometimes the knights would play chess and Jasper hardly lost, only when he was in thought. Sometimes Jaspers read one of Hendriks books, which were mostly epic tales. And Hendrik tried some of Jaspers books, which were always less happy. That emo boy. 

When they had this evenings of just reading each other’s books, Jasper would sometimes sneak a look at Hendrik, lips turning into a slight smile when taking in that relaxed form of the broad-shouldered man, the single strand of hair that fell into his face, the face that always showed the emotion he just felt so Jasper could often guess which part of the book the man was reading right now.   
In other moments Hendrik was looking up, just enough to steal a glance of Jasper, who still had so much graze even with his legs crossed and stretched onto the table, some buttons of his shirt open, showing some of his pale chest, his lips slightly parted, his hair in the usual ponytail, looking temptingly soft. At this point he was almost used to this bubbling feeling Jasper caused in him, still not knowing what to do with it but never thinking too much about it.   
Time passed like that.

But way too often Jasper would spend most hours of the night after Hendrik went back to his own quarters thinking. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t find any rest. Not when he was alone. So one night he left the castle at such a late hour. The guards at the castle entrance gave him a surprised look but they had no right bothering him. 

It was a quiet night, with rain pouring steadily. Jasper was pleased by that. Soaked after a few minutes, but pleased. The dark streets were empty, most people already asleep so the houses were mostly dark buildings with no lights shining through any window. Like Heliodor was a city without inhabitants.   
Restlessly Jasper made his way through the upper ring of the city, leaving the huge villas behind and reaching the ring of the common folk.   
Normally some band would play their music here, with people dancing after a long day of hard work or just resting at the fountain. Now nobody was here and everyone probably gathered in the tavern. Like this, Jasper could calm down the storm in his mind and enjoy the architecture of his beloved Heliodor. He was especially fond of the church. Not because of his belief and prayers to the world tree, no he rather prayed for remission in a less public place, but because the large stone building had such a beautiful aura.   
The windows with that pretty coloured glass he liked best. No other place in town had it, only Sniflheim having equally beautiful stained glass windows. So he took his time to admire them while going around the church.   
The rain made it impossible to have a good look, his wet hair sticking to the right side of his face, his head tilted towards the blue and yellow glass, concentration totally gone, which was unusual for a knight but well he was only human (which was better than being demon but had his downsides too). So he didn’t notice the person standing behind the church and bumped into them.   
“Oh that was not my intention,” he kind-of-apologized, quickly taking a step back.  
His vision cleared after a moment and he was able to make out the form of a woman before him. She seemed fine; her dark hair didn’t even look bothered by the weather, the pink and purple colours of her clothing almost shining through the dark. She smiled at him but seemed so mysterious.  
“Well hello. Nice meeting you. Trying to find some peace out here, hm? Would you be willing to help me out with a tiny little something as apology for running into me like that?”  
“… what favour is it you want?”  
“Well I am a seer of some sort. You can call me the seer. And I do a new thing where I hold people’s hands and then see the leaf of Yggdrasil that is their life. Because as everyone knows, in the centre of our world floats the giant world tree Yggdrasil and every leaf of his strong branches is the life of a citizen in Erdrea. When a baby is born a new leaf starts to grow, growing just like the child does and when a person dies their leaf falls like our common trees let their leaves fall in autumn. And I tell them how it looks. If it looks like it will fall soon or if it’s healthy, some even look really interesting; there is often a correlation between the individual life of a person and the individual look of their leaf. So would you let me take a look at the leaf that is your life on the holy tree? You are a famous knight and I never before saw to the world tree for a famous person before.”

Jasper raised one eyebrow,   
“I have certainly met some individuals with magical talent in my life. But I also know that there are at least three completely ordinary people right now in Downtown Heliodor claiming to know things about one’s life and then making up stories for a living.”  
“So you do not believe in me? Well it still won’t hurt to try, don’t you agree? You have nothing to lose and do not seem to be busy out here at night.”

Jasper gave her a mistrusting look, but nevertheless he held his gloved hand out. The left one, so he could grab the sword at his belt in a swift move with his sword-hand if he needed to. He had fought with two swords but preferred his right hand for one handed combat.   
If the woman noticed she didn’t act bothered. Instead she gently took the offered hand into her own and closed her eyes to concentrate. It looked ridiculous in Jaspers opinion though. Well, the whole situation was pretty ridiculous. 

So for a short moment of her doing nothing with closed eyes he felt really uncomfortable. This was more awkward than his first and last Puff-Puff experience.   
He was about to snatch his hand out of her grasp, that suddenly felt more filthy than gentle anyway, when she began to speak,  
“Oh I have never before seen something like that. Your leaf is so… special. It grew in a special way I mean.”  
Aaaaand here we go.   
Did any self-called prophet ever just foretell some kind of normality?   
Making up epic bullshit certainly was in their job description. 

“Your leaf grew quite near a leaf from another branch. They entwined. It grew around the other one. Like they were… fighting? Dancing around each other? Like rivals? One the hand yes, but on the other hand it is so much… more between them. Well that sure is a very special connection you seem to have with another person this leaf belongs to. Yeah there must be a special someone in your life. “  
“Ummm is it… is it a one-sided… special growing?”  
“Oh no. Not at all. Your leaf and the other one certainly grew around each other in a very mutual way. Yeah I am sure- it looks all mutual. Oh there seems to be a fresh breeze up. And while most leaves move back and forth for a while yours and the other ones only sway a bit, resisting any storm together, I dare to say, because of this equal support. You are stronger together. Oh I am sure others would be jealous, this is extraordinary! Who is this other person?!”  
Jasper was so deep in thought he slowly let his hand sink, so it slid out of her loose grip and that kind of link she had (or made up) to the world tree was lost. She opened her eyes again, seemingly less excited (thank everything holy for that), like she sobered up and looked at Jasper.   
“So… does all of this mean anything to you?”  
“Well I am not into botany. So unfortunately, no,” Jasper managed to say in a cold fashion although this could mean everything. And then he mumbled something along the lines of “A good night and life to you” and just hurried off, taking long steps back towards the castle, the rain still pouring down, the moon shining barely through the heavy clouds.

He never dared to hope that his feelings might not be one-sided, not once for years, well even decades. Not until that evening when Hendrik had taken his hands and they had this long eye contact. Since then he couldn’t stop hoping (which was what kept him awake in the nights).

But he would have never dared to make a move. It would threaten the precious friendship Hendrik shared with him. And he could never stand loosing that. It was a constant sting to think your love would never be requited. But it would be a whole other level of pain if Hendrik would avoid him because of any stupid attempts or confessions. The strong knight was all he had. And all he needed.  
Maybe this seer-person was just insane. Maybe the leaf-talk was horseshit. But no doubt he immediately thought of Hendrik when she suggested a special someone and now his hopes were not only up but like…up and over the top.

This night he stayed awake till dawn again, but with other thoughts on his mind. 

“All mutual, she said. All mutual.”

Could it be?

Mutual?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unofficial chapter Name "Damn, a botany lesson".  
> Is this THE seer we met in the game?! Maybe. Maybe not and it is just a dramatic woman. But we certainly had some prophecy-stuff in this game so I decided to stick to the theme.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. A Quote from the game. The end.

“-so in conclusion not only the patrol but also the whole day was to my satisfaction.  
… Jasper? Have you been listening to me at all? You look quite tired. Maybe we should call it a day and get a good night’s sleep.”  
Jasper had already lost one match of chess today and two games of cards, has been even quieter than he usually was and mostly looked deep in thoughts.  
But at Hendrik’s suggestion of leaving he looked up sharply “No please. I just…. Please do not… leave. Not so soon.”

Well it was already pretty late, but Jasper seldom made such soft pledges and he looked so fragile tonight… Hendrik would not ignore a request like that. So instead he leaned back on the couch, a bit of concern in his eyes when he asked,  
“What is on your mind, Jasper? You do know you can talk to me.”

The blond knight fumbled with the deck of cards in his hands, then stood up from his couch, walking over to his spot at the window, looking out into the night sky, speckled with clouds, a pale crescent moon shining through. He took a few deep breaths.  
A large hand came to rest on his left shoulder, squeezing it for a short moment. He has not noticed Hendrik standing up and following him. 

“Come on, what’s bothering you?”

Jasper was not a bold man.  
Jasper was a strategist.  
He calculated.  
He knew all the parameters, weighed all options, planned every move, had the risks on his mind and would not do anything spontaneous.  
Normally.  
Now he was tired, hope has dwelled in his chest way too long like some poison and there was this warm strong hand on his shoulder and the comforting presence and soothing stable voice of the man he had loved his whole life right behind him. And he had kind of reason to believe his feelings might be returned (yeah, one hand-holding moment he overly interpreted and one insane woman in the rain, really trustworthy). So he could let the man walk out of the door and come back the next day and everything would be okay, this is what he was alright with, he always thought. Only now it didn’t feel right, it was too much and not enough and he couldn’t bare this state of mind and-  
He turned around in a swift move, taking in Hendriks concerned gaze (those lovely features be damned), raised his head and stood on his tiptoes (who allowed that man to grow so ridiculously large?!) to give Hendrik a kiss. 

Well actually it was more like their lips met in a really sloppy way and it ended before Jasper could even comprehend the way it made him feel. Maybe it ended so soon he didn’t even have the time to feel anything. That was far away from any spectacular first kiss he had wished for.  
Because Hendrik had grabbed him by the forearms, dragged him back and stared at him like Jasper was out of his mind, which he probably was if he was honest. Did he make a habit of making wrong choices?

“Jasper?! What are you- … you are not drunk or anything, are you?”  
Oh he could have gotten drunk the past hours. Knowing there was enough alcoholic beverages in the castle had been really tempting. Nearly as tempting as this man before- there it was. The evidence he didn’t need anymore, he was such a fool for love. Well no going back now, might as well just speak up his mind for once.

“Hendrik… I just spent my whole life loving you,” whispered Jasper, but it cut through the silence like a knife;  
“It is no rivalry nor friendship, not just admiration or any kind of brotherhood. It is love. I am sure of it… And I cannot ignore it anymore because… I got the feeling you might… like me too. And I need an answer right about now.”

Hendrik did seem taken aback from this confession and the way Jasper looked so insecure and spoke in such a timid way but then demanded information like he would demand the patrol reports.  
But his surprise only lasted a few breaths long. There was this huge pile of thoughts he stored away every day that had confused him, which he tried and failed to not think of. But no denial no more. It was not needed anymore.

Well, those were awful breaths with stretched silence and tension-thick air that were forgotten as soon as Hendrik gently put his hand on Jaspers face, tilting his head slightly up with two fingers, closed the distance between them again and sealed their lips with a kiss.  
And it was a real kiss this time, way better than whatever that was before.  
A sweet one with just the right amount of pressure, with closed eyes, a kiss that lifts every spirit so one forgets the whole world and only feels this moment, with delight blossoming in ones chest. A kiss that was not to be described with words because those feelings were so much beyond everything syllables are capable of.

Caused by a lack of breath they broke that kiss, looking each other deep in the eyes.  
A smirk threatened to appear on Jaspers sweet face before he said, “So I guess I have been right about those feelings, huh?”  
Hendrik huffed out a small laugh, “Yeah… you could say so.”  
He was not the best at putting anything into words, so he simply pulled Jasper into another kiss.  
That smirking blonde with his daring eyes and cold looks really made him the happiest man in Erdrea and it took him way too long to figure it out. 

They had somehow moved to the bed, with Hendrik being in a posture somewhere between sitting and lying down with a pillow cushioning his back, his arms wrapped around Jasper who was leaning against him, his head resting on Hendriks shoulder, fingers gently moving over Hendriks chest trough his shirt.  
They just kind of comprehended their luck. Hendrik also comprehended how damn soft that long hair was by stroking it frequently and Jasper really liked his scalp caressed. They weren’t much words needed. No talk of being together from now on or anything. It was just obvious; it fell like scales from their eyes. All those times of pining for each other were over. It was time to cherish requited love. 

After a while Jasper looked up, meeting Hendriks eyes, “You ever were with a man before? I only saw you with women before, not that often though.”  
Hendrik furrowed his brows for a moment, his cheeks getting red when memories flooded his mind, “Well… you’ve been to the parties at Puerto Valor. Sheesh those were some wild nights. Anyway… yeah I have been with men. Only a few times and never here in Heliodor…  
When I came back from my knight training I saw you and how you had grown, how smart you had become. I just fell in love with you then I think. I didn’t realise it though. I got a place in my head for all that weird thoughts and tried to ignore them and carry on. Maybe it has been a crush back then but since that fight with your demon form I think it was real love. Hm so even if it was just a crush when we were younger, I still couldn’t look at any one in an intimidate was without instantly noticing how much more beautiful you were, Jasper.”

Jasper smirked. He had been called beautiful before. Mostly by some guys he had been with for a night, when he was slightly drunk and flirted with the first guy who was more muscular and threw him looks. But it never felt special. They had said it when he was undressing in a tipsy way or while pulling a tad too strong at his hair.  
Hendrik had said it in such an honest way, while just looking at him, dressed and not flirting or anything. And Hendrik had looked so handsome when he said that, eyes slightly lidded, being relaxed. In Jaspers bed. 

Yeah, he really did it. 

He finally confessed those bottled up feelings and now it was not so bothersome anymore that chancellors threw him mistrusting looks, that he lied to the folks about his absence, that he had fallen to a dark cause and had been a demon or that the King hated him. No, now he had Hendrik at his side, as a lover- even better, as his partner and it was all he would ever need. 

For a first time since long the future really seemed kind of bright. And the present was even better. He would tend to Hendriks needs, Hendrik would care for him, they would train swordsmanship together but they would kiss afterwards instead of making a rivalry out of it. 

He really loved that big guy. For his honesty, his simple manner of living, his stoic manner, his clumsy style, his impressive sword skills, the way he would always forgive, his way too good heart, his inner softness. He loved him for talking to Obsidian when he thought nobody was watching and the concentrating gaze he had when he cleaned his sword. He loved his strength that was wrapped around his way softer core. He loved him with all of his normally icy heart.

Hendrik really loved that smartass. For his elegance, his cleverness, his deep insights, the little gesture he always made to get his hair out of his face, all the meaningful thoughts he seldom spoke of but that were always there in his head, the hard to read expressions he had that forced one to observe really good if one ever wanted to read him. He loved him for his gorgeous smile that Hendrik definitely would bring upon his face more often and for kneeling down to pet a cat when he thought nobody was watching. He loved him for the cold attitude he always wore that hid his way softer core. He loved him with all of his heart and was finally ready to admit to it.

Times were difficult and the road to recovery was always a hard one, but now they would walk that one down together.

Or, as Hendrik always used to say:

“All is well that ends well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unofficial chapter Name "Not drunk, just gay".  
> I wrote this because I love Jasper. And who doesn't?
> 
> I'm doing a Sequel which will be online some time after this summersemester2020!!!  
> For more Hendrik/Jasper fluff, a plot with some serious stuff, etc :D

**Author's Note:**

> The unofficial Name for this fanfic is "Actually saving Jasp".  
> Feel free to give kudos and comment.  
> And to play some more Dragon Quest.  
> It is an amazing game.


End file.
